Lessons Learned from Taking a Mini Retirement

I firmly believe that the concept of “retirement” is changing. To many of us, retirement is something that gray-haired folks do, giving up their jobs to live on a pension after 40+ years of hard work.

But when you think about it, that definition of retirement has really only been around for a few generations. Our great great grandparents are more likely to have worked until they dropped due to a lack of income, or enjoyed a lifetime of leisure thanks to wealth. And just as the concept of retirement – which can seem so fixed – has changed so significantly, so I believe it is changing again.

Today, many personal finance bloggers discuss concepts of early retirement and of financial independence; the ability to “retire” from formal work much earlier than tradition dictates. On the other hand, there are an increasing number of people taking time out for “mini retirements” at any age.

“Don’t wait until you’re too old to enjoy it” they chant. Take an extended period of time off work and go travelling, no matter what your age. You don’t need to be a student to take a “gap year” any more. Which is exactly what I did this summer. I quit my enjoyable, secure and well-paying job, then disappeared off to France for four months with my girlfriend.

To say it’s been a life changing experience may sound like a cliche, but it’s really not far from the truth. Now I’m back to reality, and working full time in a different office, I can look back at those long, hot days in the Mediterranean and consider the lessons I learned while on my mini retirement…

You’re Probably Not Tired All the Time – You’re Just Bored

One of the major appeals of a mini retirement for me was the opportunity to choose my own sleep pattern. No more did I need to set an alarm in the morning, then count backwards to decide when I needed to go to bed. Instead, I was free to fall asleep when I got tired, and wake up when I wasn’t. A heady experience, I think you’d agree.

But here’s the funny thing. I expected it to take some weeks to recover from my normal working life; each night getting slightly shorter as my recovery progressed, till I was back to feeling “normal”. What I found, actually, was that I probably slept even less than normal, but felt more alive than I have in years.

My only conclusion is that my feelings of continual tiredness when at work were a mirage; the real problem was that I felt bored and unchallenged. As soon as I stepped out of this pattern and started to experience something new – a foreign country first hand – the feeling of constant “sedation” subsided.

It’s a long time since I’ve felt so alive and energetic.  

A Lack of Responsibility Is the Biggest Freedom Possible

One of our major goals when taking our mini retirement was a total lack of responsibility towards anyone and anything. We didn’t make promises about when we’d get up, when we’d meet people or when we’d do things. Everything was “organic” and either happened or it didn’t. The wonderful result was that I didn’t go to bed in the evening with a “to do” list for the following day in my head. I could read a book properly – without interruptions and without trying not to forget about some chore that needs doing.

Every day was a blank canvas, with little more than a rough outline of what we might do with it. And as a result, every clear sunny morning was full of potential. I could hardly wait to get up and see what today would bring.

The lesson here is that many of us adults are drowning in “responsibility” – things we know we “should” do or have promised someone we “would” do. Maybe my experience suggests that we need to take a break from responsibility sometimes, and maybe we need to be rather more mindful about accepting new responsibilities in the future.

People With Lots of Spare Time Are Much Friendlier

I’ve noticed in the past that I can be one of two different people. There’s “Vacation Me” who is relaxed, talkative and willing to try anything new. Then there’s “Work Me” – the guy who is tired, stressed, and just wants to go home.

The first version of me proudly gives way to little old ladies trying to cross the road, or beckons other car drivers out of side roads. He’s a guy I’d like to meet. The other me really doesn’t have the patience for such rubbish; learn to drive or don’t get on the road at rush hour.

While I’m not proud of this dual personality, it was something I saw time and again on my mini retirement. We’d stop in a market to talk to people, I’d lose my girlfriend in the supermarket because she had wondered off for a chat with someone, and driving became a pleasure.

All the expats and vacationers we met said the same thing; having plenty of free time really does release the pressure and make you more patient, more friendly, more willing to “waste” a few minutes just being civil.  

It’s Amazing What You’re Truly Capable Of Facing

At face value, moving to another country for the summer is a pretty big deal. It’s not like a vacation where you never leave the resort – we were living in amongst the French every single day. From figuring out how to drive in France, to picking up the basics of the language, to picking up parcels from the local post office; everything was new. Everything was, depending on your perspective, nerve-wracking or exciting.

I even lived for several weeks on my own, when my girlfriend had to pop home for work. The funny thing is that until you have such an “immersive” experience you don’t realize just how much we’re all capable of facing.

Don’t be intimidated by big tasks or problems. Instead, see them as opportunities to grow and develop, and you’ll find yourself some time later wondering what all the fuss was about.  

There Are Limits on How Much You Can Relax

One of my goals in France was to properly relax. To spend entire weeks doing little but sitting in the garden with a good book, or sauntering down to a local restaurant for lunch. What could possibly be better?

Well, as it turns out, quite a few things. Oh sure, at first complete and utter relaxation – a removal of any stress – is a most incredible experience. After a while, however, I actually found that I was getting a little bored. Relaxation is all well and good for a period of time, but eventually you need something to get your teeth into.

If you find yourself sitting at home on a Sunday evening, frustrating about all the stuff you haven’t got done this weekend, and annoyed about another week at work then take heed. Life is all about balance, and it’s those crazy weeks at work that help you to appreciate your limited free time all the more. Eliminate that work, and you may well find that you don’t value your free time quite as highly, or use it quite as well.

Working a Full Time Job Can Be an Expensive Business

As a personal finance blogger, it should come as no surprise that before we took our mini retirement we did a fair amount of budgeting. We looked at our standard monthly expenses, then tried to decide what we might be able to cut. The goal was to reduce our expenses as much as possible, so our money went further while away.

The funny thing was just how much money we ended up saving. Suddenly I didn’t to go to the dry cleaners each week. I wasn’t wasting large amounts of fuel in a long commute. I was able to make meals at home rather than buying them on the go, and because we were at home so much we didn’t have a single thing go out of date.

The message is this: keeping your full time job is quite possibly costing you far more money than you might realize. If and when you decide to cut down the amount that you work, you’ll probably find that you lose far less money than you expected. The reason is simple enough; a proportion of the salary you lose will be offset by savings in other areas of your budget.

Nurturing Strong Relationships Takes Time and Effort

I make no secret of how much I adore my girlfriend; we make a fantastic team and we see eye-to-eye on almost everything. Over the last few years of our careers, however, we’ve spent an inordinate amount of time apart.

My days off frequently coincided with her work days. Differing shifts and trying to beat the traffic could also affect mornings and evenings too. Sometimes whilst we were living in the same house we’d barely see each other for weeks. We spoke more on Facebook than in person.

Then came four months in France, together. The experience was like the most amazing “reset” on our relationship – at least from my perspective. We spent pretty much 24 hours a day together, chatting, reading, cooking and eating. We walked hand-in-hand like we were teenagers again, and discussed our plans for the future.

The end result of this “pair bonding” has been that I feel our relationship is stronger than it has ever been before. Not only have we talked more than ever before but we now have a comprehensive plan for the next few years, based on long evenings of honest discussion.